a real alien

Yesterday for the first time since i'm in Galati i really felt like a Portuguese Alien in Galati... I dont know what the hell is wrong with me... I dont seem to fit anywhere, eventhough everybody try to make me feel like part of the group i always find myself so far away on my mind... where?? i really dunno... i think i'm still trying to find myself and its so hard!! :(
I guess my biggest fear as rised... i promised myself i wouldnt fall in love just like this, specially because i'm afraid of falling in love and dont get feedback and now i think i'm in love and the other person doesnt feel the same...
How i wish live was more easy but its always so hard! I realize sometimes we have to suffer to achieve happiness but why do i have to suffer so many times??
Well... i guess i feel like shit again!
I wish i had courage to say this things face to face but somehow i cant... i cant and thats my biggest problem... i'm afraid of the consequences... too afraid...