desabafo...

Foi preciso sair do meu país para finalmente perceber que as pessoas nem sempre são o que parecem... Pela frente é tudo sorrisos mas na realidade não passa de hipocrisia... É escusado tentar forçar a entrada num grupo... entra-se e pronto... Já aprendi muito mas agora que paro para pensar ainda tenho tanto para aprender.
Quando se cria demasiadas expectativas a queda pode ser fatal! Neste momento existem tantas questões na minha cabeça... por muito que tente não consigo perceber tanta coisa. A linha que separa a sanidade da loucura é tão fina e a minha ás vezes parece estar quase quebrada... Como alguém um dia me disse, tenho de procurar ter mundo mas, já não sei mais onde procurar... Só tenho vontade de chorar, gritar, mandar foder tudo!!!! Mas o que é que eu fiz para sofrer assim tanto!? Se calhar nada, se calhar é só um má fase, talvez as saudades finalmente a emergirem.
Sinto que encontrei a minha alma gémea aqui, apesar de tudo gosto de acreditar nisso, acho que é isso que me faz aguentar isto tudo. Tenho de tentar viver a minha vida com mais calma, sem pressas. Por muito egocentrico que pareça tenho de pensar mais em mim e fazer o mundo girar um pouco a minha volta, porque é bom dar mas também é bom receber.
Carpe diem Marco! Carpe diem!

Hoje choro... mas irei ficar melhor em breve... espero... tenho de ficar! Tenho de me concentrar no que realmente me trouxe para aqui, resolver a minha vida. Quanto ao resto logo se vê. Não preciso de ficar mais louco do que sou.

Funny how life teach us lessons... Usually, at least in my case, most of those lessons are stuff that with my age i already should know but... i dunno... i think its how us humans work, we should learn with our mistakes but we never do. But its like the old saying, what doenst kill you makes you stronger! And afterall life isnt only about sad things... If I think really hard I'm having the time of my life here in Galati! Such crazy 2 months and i'm still alive so i guess i'm getting stronger :) I stopped being a quitter(well not totally true... i deciced to quit on smokes :P) I finally have some interest in school, i learned how to make friends, and i know this sounds weird but i always had trouble making friends, i was all my life too damn shy, of course i have friends but most of them came to me and know i try to reach people and talk to them, i become an "alien" when i came to Galati like the title of this wall of sorrow stands for but the true is that i was an alien before and i had a real hard time to communicate with the human kind. I started to participate in some projects, I even organized a birthday party lol! So I think its time to stand up and reach for my goals! To be happy and change my life!
Fuck everybody who doesnt care! Fuck everybody who pretends to care! And thank you to all the people who have been supportive when I needed the most! I promise i will be there for you when you need to!

Well There's a natural mysticblowing through the air

Over and out

...

All my life in this moment is resumed to this

...


nothing!

I know i shouldnt say this but its how i feel... sometimes its like i dont have the right to be happy... when something gets to good i just dont have the right to have it...

For the first time in 2 months i really miss home... i miss my friends... i miss my parents...

I hope my little holidays in Portugal fix me... it has to fix otherwise i will collapse...

Over and out

3 weeks

3 weeks and i will be on my hometown :) I'm really looking forward to it! its always good to return home... i think it will make me feel good :) and then back to Galati to continue with my life...
Nothing to say at the moment

Over and out

2 months

2 fucking months in romania! still alive!
2 months and still trying to figure out myself! sometimes i think i really got there... well i did... i learned so much! and looking the all picture i've changed so much! I dont tear apart like i used to and that's a start :) the "bubble is breaking" i'm not sure if its written this way but i dont care! lol
I've met so many interesting and nice people... some of them i think it will stay forever... i never thought i would have so many friends around here because usually i find it hard to make so many friends in so less time (again maybe its miswritten but i dont give a shit!!!! hehehehehe)
So... LAst week i participated in a project with a school in Mastacani and as soon as i can i will make a post about it with pics and next week i'll participate in GLobal Village! I've been keeping myself very busy so i can feel like i'm usefull.

Well that's it for now!

Galati will stay in my mind forever! Its almost my third hometown after Baião, my original one, and Bragança where i've been living for 6 years.

Over and out
ALien got a sleep :P

work, work, work

So... now i'm working on a presentation on traditional food from Portugal.
I was invited by Cynthia from Peace Corps to go to Mastacani because there will be a week in a school with presentatons about food, what's healthy, what kids eat on school, vitamins and some info about food around the world.
I have to say this is a challenge to me because i never did anything like it.
I also have to bring some traditional food to serve to around 90 people!!! :S well that is the biggest challenge! But I'm getting some help and i just hope everything works fine :)

Well tomorrow i will give do the presentation and we will see how it goes :)

over and out

...

It's so hard to act strong... to keep my feelings inside! I just want to go out and shout to the world that i love you! i want to tell you that i love you! but somehow i can't, dunno why... sometimes it feels like ur in the same boat as me but then u float on someone else boat... i just want to grab and take u to a different reality. i hope someday that can be possible, in the meanwhile i wait... because like a famous portuguese poet said "o sonho comanda a vida" (dreams commands life)

Games day... i'm such a loser :P

So... Today it wasnt a very lucky day for me in games lol
After an all day staying at home not doing anything at all at the end of the afternoon i went with Julian, Roxana, Traian and Samuel(a french guy who is doing a trip around europe on his bike) to Casa de Cultura to play ping pong. Finally i found something that Roxana sucks at!! but that's another story, i will not make fun of her lol anyway i only won one game and it was against her so i got my revenge to all the bad things that she does to me :P
Afterwards we went to Seven, a pub near my apartment where first of all i found out that they have wi-fi, and when i think that back in the days i didnt have internet at home i went to hazard that is more far away and sometimes the internet didnt work :S, oh well...
Anyway, there we learned how to play a cards game called rentz it turns out that today is really not my day for games because i finished on the last position :) i really hate this game lol
I just hope its like a saying that we have in Portugal(maybe its a worldwide saying i dunno) Bad luck in gamble Good luck in love... it better be true otherwise i lost for nothing :P

Over and out

Open my eyes!

Today i found myself thinking(yes i do think and yes i'm talking to you :P) about how i always complained about my life, about everything works wrong for me but if i look at the all picture i've been a lucky bastard all my life! My parents always gave me everything that they could and sometimes things that they couldnt really afford to give me but somehow they manage it and ok since i was 16 they made me work on summer but now that i think about it, it was a way of giving me some responsability and some freedom because afterall if i get my own money i can buy what i want and at the same time i learn how to manage money... well on thtat second topic i have to admit i wasnt a very good student... and only now that i came to Romania i learned to be responsible with money because shit happens and if i dont have any spare money i will be screwed.
Anyway... i look around and i see people here, younger than me, that have to study and work. They study because they want to get a good job and they work because they really need to! And unlike me, an all life crying baby, they always have a smile on the face and they dont complain!
My staying here in Galati is being a great lesson for life! We can't take things for granted we have to work really hard to earn it!
I always had this feeling about a song like it was trying to say me something, that song is called Open your eyes by Guano Apes and now i get it.
Open your eyes MArco!

Halloween Party review lol

So... yesterday we had a Halloween party here at home! It was pretty fun :) lots of people, music, candy, chips and lots of alcohol (specially for me :S)
For me at a certain time was a bit complicated because i started to think about my life, about what i want... whatever... yesterday i didnt get any conclusion but today i think i finally got one... I cant really make things happen in a instance, i have to be thankfull for what i have and for what i get and just let life take its own way and if anything at all its meant to be it will happen sooner or later! I have my goals and i'm not going on the right direction! i have to leave my bubble... i will leave it and maybe next year i will be wearing it as a halloween costume :)

Anyway in the end it was a good halloween party

I really have to start writing here interesting stuff... there is so much to meet and since now i already got everything going on its way on the faculty i just hope i receive my erasmus scholarship this week like its supposed to be and find sometime to discover this beautifull country :D

this alien today as to get some rest... halloween its hard :P

P.S: Note for myself: I was supposed to be Harry Potter in the party and i shouldnt perform the "making disappear alcohol" trick so often